He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
