I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
