im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
