Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
