I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
