Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I know her cup size but not her name....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
