I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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