so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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