Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The struggles of a small town man whore
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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