please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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