This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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