I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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