Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
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That's how twitter works, right?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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