I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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