So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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