STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
