Your face is a jimmy john
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
