I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize