I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
