There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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