i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
