just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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