random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
