You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
