I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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