last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
