i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
