I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
