i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
