I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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