i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
