Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my sisters under your porch take her home
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
