You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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