you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I enjoy the company of your penis
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
