I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
