I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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