week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
