the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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