i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
