Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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