It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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