Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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