I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
