and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
