She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
