so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
