Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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