I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
