the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
