I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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