if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
