last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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