He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
