are you still at the devil's house?
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
