I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
