It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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